" My friend, who was a man of resource, hit
upon this ingenious expedient, said he, "To-morrow morning at mid-
day, when lunch is announced, do you plunge bodily overboard, head
foremost. I will be alongside in a boat to rescue you, and take
the one of the ten who rushes to your rescue, and then you can
afterwards have him." The beautiful young lady highly approved,
and did accordingly. But after she plunged in, nine out of the ten
more or less beautiful young gentlemen plunged in after her; and
the tenth remained and shed tears, looking over the side of the
vessel. They were all picked up, and restored dripping to the
deck. The beautiful young lady upon seeing them said, "What am I
to do? See what a plight they are in. How can I possibly choose,
because every one of them is equally wet?" Then said my friend the
captain, acting upon a sudden inspiration, "Take the dry one." I
am sorry to say that she did so, and they lived happy ever
afterwards.
Now, gentleman, in my application of this story, I exactly reverse
my friend the captain's anecdote, and I entreat the public in
looking about to consider who are fit subjects for their bounty, to
give each his hand with something in it, and not award a dry hand
to the industrious railway servant who is always at his back. And
I would ask any one with a doubt upon this subject to consider what
his experience of the railway servant is from the time of his
departure to his arrival at his destination.
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