I tell
the man on the street the way home because I cannot part his
bewilderment from my own. The problem always is, What may I suitably
regard as mine? And in solving it, we should study as carefully that
for which we propose to sacrifice ourselves as anything which we might
seek to obtain. Triviality or lack of permanent consequence is as
objectionable in the one case as in the other. The only safe rule is
that self-sacrifice is self-assertion, is a judgment as regards what
we would welcome to be a portion of our conjunct self.
Perhaps an extreme case will show this most clearly. Jesus prayed,
"Not my will, but thine, be done." He did not then lose his will. He
asserted and obtained it. For his will was that the divine will should
be fulfilled, and fulfilled it was. He set aside one form of his will,
his private and isolated will, knowing it to be delusive. But his true
or conjunct will--and he knew it to be his true one--he abundantly
obtained. It is no wonder, then, that in explaining these things to
his disciples he says, "My meat it is to do the will of my Father."
That is always the language of genuine self-sacrifice. The act is not
complete until the sense of loss has disappeared.
XI
Yet while I hold that self-sacrifice is thus the very extreme of
rationality, grounding as it does all worth in the relational or
conjunct selfhood, I cannot disguise from myself that it contains an
element of tragedy too.
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