"If you looked a little more to the grammar of it, I think,"
said Foote, "it would be better."--"To the grammar of it, Sir! What!
would you send me to school again?"--"And pray, Sir," replied Foote,
very gravely, "would that do you any harm?"
* * * * *
SWEARING BY PROXY.
Cardinal Dubois used frequently, in searching after any thing he wanted,
to swear excessively. One of his clerks told him, "Your eminence had
better hire a man to swear for you, and then you will gain so much
time."
* * * * *
THE MUNIFICENT SAINT.
A devout lady offered up a prayer to St. Ignatius for the conversion of
her husband; a few days after, the man died; "What a good saint is our
Ignatius!" exclaimed the consolable widow, "he bestows on us more
benefits than we ask for!"
* * * * *
PRODIGALITY.
A petty journalist was boasting in company, that he was a dispenser of
fame to those on whom he wrote. "Yes, Sir," replied an individual
present, "you dispense it so liberally, that you leave none for
yourself."
* * * * *
PHYSIOGNOMISTS.
Pickpockets and beggars are the best practical physiognomists, without
having read a line of Lavater, who, it is notorious, mistook a
highwayman for a philosopher, and a philosopher for a highwayman.
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