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Cahan, Abraham, 1860-1951

"The Rise of David Levinsky"

But the
next day he would have to go hunting for me again
I had invested considerable money in my new affairs, and releasing
it at short notice would not have been an easy matter. But the
great point was that I was literally intoxicated by my new
interests, and the fact that they were intimately associated with the
atmosphere of Anna's home had much--perhaps everything--to do
with it
I loved her to insanity. She was the supreme desire of my being. I
knew that she was weaker in character and mind than Elsie, for
example, but that seemed to be a point in her favor rather than
against her. "She is a good girl," I would muse, "mild, kindly,
girlish. As for her 'radical' notions, they really don't matter much. I
could easily knock them out of her. I should be happy with her.
Oh, how happy!" And, in spite of the fact that I thought her weak,
the sight of her would fill me with awe.
One's first love is said to be the most passionate love of which one
is capable. I do not think it is. I think my feeling for Anna was
stronger, deeper, more tender, and more overpowering than either
of my previous two infatuations.


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