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Cahan, Abraham, 1860-1951

"The Rise of David Levinsky"

As you sit reading
the great folio He looks down from heaven upon you. Sometimes I
seemed to feel His gaze shining down upon me, as though casting
a halo over my bead
My relations with God were of a personal and of a rather familiar
character.
He was interested in everything I did or said; He watched my every
move or thought; He was always in heaven, yet, somehow, he was
always near me, and I often spoke to Him as I might to Reb
Sender
If I caught myself slurring over some of my prayers or speaking ill
of another boy or telling a falsehood, I would say to Him, audibly:
"Oh, forgive me once more. You know that I want to be good. I
will be good.
I know I will."
Sometimes I would continue to plead in this manner till I broke
into sobs.
At other times, as I read my Talmud, conscious of His approval of
me, tears of bliss would come into my eyes
I loved Him as one does a woman.
Often while saying my prayers I would fall into a veritable
delirium of religious infatuation. Sometimes this fit of happiness
and yearning would seize me as I walked in the street
"O Master of the World! Master of the Universe! I love you so!" I
would sigh.


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