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Ditchfield, P. H. (Peter Hampson), 1854-1930

"The Parish Clerk (1907)"

Of such may be
mentioned those who knew of much finer churches they could really
admire. Whenever we heard the preface--"There's one thing strikes me in
this church"--we were prepared to hear a depreciatory remark of some
kind. Some would take pleasure in breaking the sequence of the story by
anticipating matters not then reached, and causing divers interruptions.
Others would annoy by preferring persistent speaking to listening. It
was trying work going round with, and explaining to, persons from whom
nothing but mono-syllables could be drawn, either through nervousness,
or from realising their exalted status to be miles above the person who
was supposing himself able to interest them. Anything but desirable
persons were they who, after going round the church, returned with other
friends, and then posed as men whose knowledge of the building was
equal, if not a shade superior, to that of the guide. Some parties would
waste the time, and try one's patience by having amongst them laggards,
to whom explanations already given had to be repeated. But we must pass
by others, and proceed. The mind would sometimes find diversion by
observing the idiosyncrasies, and detecting the pretensions of
individuals. Gradually gaining acquaintance as we proceeded, we
occasionally discovered some were aping gentility: some assuming
positions that knew them not, and some claiming talents they did not
possess.


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