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Ditchfield, P. H. (Peter Hampson), 1854-1930

"The Parish Clerk (1907)"

"
* * * * *
In the parish of Lowestoft, Suffolk, in the forties the parish clerk's
name was Newson (would-be wits called him "Nuisance"). He was arrayed in
a velvet-trimmed robe and bore himself bravely. The way in which he
mouthed "Let us sing to the glory of God" was wonderful. But the chief
amusement he afforded was the habit of hiding his face in his hands
during each prayer, then towards the ending his head would rise till it
rested on his thumbs, and then came out sonorously, "Awl-men."
* * * * *
At St. Mary's, Southtown (near Great Yarmouth), in the late thirties,
etc., a man named Nolloth was clerk. He was celebrated for the
uncertainty of his "H's." For example: "Let us sing to the praise and
glory of God the Heighty-heighth ymn."
* * * * *
At Gorleston (the mother church of St. Mary's, named above) a tailor
named Bristow was clerk. He was a very small man, and he had a son he
wished to succeed him. The clerk's desk was pretty wide and they sat
together. I can see them (sixty years after), one leaning on his right
arm, the other on his left; and when the time came, the duet was
_Ah_-men from the elder and A-men from the younger, one in "tenor" the
other "treble." We schoolboys used to say "Big pig, little pig.


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