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Ditchfield, P. H. (Peter Hampson), 1854-1930

"The Parish Clerk (1907)"

The family of my informant
had resided there for nearly a century, and had, therefore, the approval
of the clerk. On one occasion some of the family found their seat
occupied by some new people who had recently settled in the town. The
clerk rushed up, and in a loud voice, audible all over the church,
exclaimed:
"Never you mind that air muck in your pew. I'll soon turn 'em out. The
imperent muck, takin' your seats!"
The family insisted upon "the muck" being left in peace, and forbade the
eviction.
The old clerk used vigorously a long stick to keep the school children
in order. He was much respected, and his death universally regretted.
Fifty years ago there was a dear, good old clerk, named Bamford, at
Mangotsfield Church, who used to give out the hymns, verse by verse. The
vicar always impressed upon him to read out the words in a loud voice,
and at the last word in each verse to pitch his voice. The hymn, "This
world's a dream," was rendered in this fashion:
"This world's a _drame_, an empty shoe,
But this bright world to which I goo
Hath jaays substantial an' sincere,
When shall I wack and find me THEER?"
William Smart, the parish clerk of Windermere in the sixties, was a rare
specimen. By trade an auctioneer and purveyor of Westmorland hams, he
was known all round the countryside.


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