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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 153, July 4, 1917"


But even then I have no doubt the smell
From slopes celestial of asphodel
Would fill the firmament and give me hell--
A-tish-oo!
They tell me 'tis the man of intellect
The baneful seeds especially affect;
And I that sneeze one million times a year--
I ought to have a notable career,
Though, at the price, an earldom would be dear--
A-tish-oo!
Gladly, indeed, to some less gifted swain
Would I concede my fine but fatal brain,
Could I like him but sniff the jasmine spray
Or couch unmoved within a mile of hay,
And not explode in this exhausting way--
A-tish-oo!
* * * * *
Wanted, a Faith-healer.
Dear Madam,--We have received your enquiry for Sergeant ----, and
wish to inform you that he was transferred to ---- Hospital,
suffering from a slightly sceptic toe. Trusting this information
may be of some value,
Yours faithfully, ----
* * * * *
"It scarcely seems as if the Premiership of Graf Moritz Esterhazy,
with all his Oxford education and the vigour of his thirty-six
years, will be able to bruise the serpent's heel."--_Observer_.
The serpent is so beastly cunning; he always sits on it.
* * * * *
"MARRIAGES.--All contemplating Marriage consult Proprietors ----
Matrimonial Bureau, Melbourne, opposite Old Cemetery. Specially
erected for the purpose.


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