"--_Daily Mail._
The cheese should however be carefully tethered.
* * * * *
CHARIVARIA.
According to an Italian report the conviction of the master-spy, VON
GERLACH, was effected by the aid of "the two most notorious burglars in
Europe." Another slight for LITTLE WILLIE.
***
Reporting on a Glasgow subway railway accident, Colonel PRINGLE advises
that "the use of ambiguous phraseology on telephones should not be
permitted." Abbreviations now dear to the London subscriber, such as
"Grrrrrrr-kuk-kuk-kuk-bbbzzzzz--are you--ping! phut! grrrrr!" etc.,
etc., will no longer be allowed.
***
The Sinn Feiners are proposing to send a mission to the United States to
explain their attitude. An upward tendency in plate-glass insurance is
already manifesting itself in New York and elsewhere.
***
Owing, we understand, to other distractions, no actress last week
obtained a divorce.
***
A trade union for funeral workers has just been formed, the members of
which are pledged to oppose Sunday burials. It is considered very
unlucky to be buried on a Sunday.
***
No, "Thespian," it is no longer considered correct to wear a straw hat
with a fur coat. Why not run the lawnmower over the astrachan collar?
***
A medical correspondent points out that wasps, gnats and midges can
be kept at a distance by using preparations of certain obnoxious
plants. There is also much to be said for the plan of making a noise
like a German.
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