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Kyne, Peter B. (Peter Bernard), 1880-1957

"Captain Scraggs or, The Green-Pea Pirates"

Gibney. The money was placed in McGuffey's
hands, and a moment later, with a mighty effort, Mr. Gibney pried
off the lid of the crate. Captain Scraggs had his head inside the
box a fifth of a second later.
"Sealed zinc box inside," he announced. "Get a can opener, Gib,
my boy."
"Ginseng, for a thousand," mourned Mr. Gibney. "Scraggsy, you're
five dollars of my money to the good. Ginseng always comes packed
in air-tight boxes."
He produced a can opener from the cabin locker and fell to his
work on a corner of the hermetically sealed box. As he drove in
the point of the can opener, he paused, hammer in hand, and gazed
solemnly at Scraggs and McGuffey.
"Gentlemen" (again McGuffey nodded approvingly), "do you know
what a vacuum is?"
"I know," replied the imperturbable McGuffey. "A vacuum is an
empty hole that ain't got nothin' in it."
"Correct," said Mr. Gibney. "My head is a vacuum. Me talkin'
about ginseng root! Why, I must have water on the brain! Ginseng
be doggoned! _It's opium!_"
Captain Scraggs was forced to grab the seat of his chair in order
to keep himself from jumping up and clasping Mr. Gibney around
the neck.
"Forty dollars a pound," he gasped.


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