Trial had not quickened my perceptions, nor suffering
taught me an unselfish regard for others.
The home provided by my father was elegant--some would have called
it luxurious. On our education and accomplishments no expense was
spared. I had the best teachers--and, of course, the most expensive;
with none others would I have been satisfied, for I had come
naturally to regard myself as on a social equality with the
fashionable young friends who were my companions, and who indulged
the fashionable vice of depreciating everything that did not come up
to a certain acknowledged standard. Yearly I went to Saratoga or
Newport with my sisters, and at a cost which I now think of with
amazement. Sometimes my mother went with us, but my father never. He
was not able to leave his business. Business! How I came to dislike
the word! It was always "business" when we asked him to go anywhere
with us; "business" hurried him away from his hastily-eaten meals;
"business" absorbed all his thoughts, and robbed us of our father.
"I wish father would give up business," I said to my mother one day,
"and take some comfort of his life. Mr. Woodward has retired, and is
now living on his income."
My mother looked at me strangely and sighed, but answered nothing.
About this time my father showed some inclination to repress our
growing disposition to spend money extravagantly in dress.
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