I began to do good from a
sense of duty to Thee; but after a while I did good, I fear, only because
it was so pleasant--so pleasant to see human faces looking up into mine
with gratitude; so pleasant to have little children, even though they
were none of my own, clinging to me in trust; so pleasant when I went
home at night to feel that I had made one human being a little happier, a
little better, even only a little more comfortable; so pleasant to give
up my own pleasure, in order to give pleasure to others, that I fear I
forgot Thee in my own enjoyment. If I sinned in that, Lord forgive. But
at least, I have had my reward. My work among Thy poor was its own
reward, a reward of inward happiness beyond all that earth can give--and
now Thou speakest of rewarding me over and above, with I know not what of
undeserved bliss. Thou art too good, O Lord, as is Thy wont from all
eternity. Let me go and hide myself--a more than unprofitable servant,
who has not done the hundredth part of that which it was my duty to do."
What answer the Lord would make to the modest misgivings of that sweet
soul, I cannot say; for again, who am I, that I should put words into the
mouth of my Creator and my God? But this I know, that I had rather be--
what I am not, and never shall be--such a soul as that in the last day,
than own all the kingdoms of the world and the glory thereof.
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