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Kingsley, Charles, 1819-1875

"All Saints' Day and Other Sermons"

Not in the
mere grace of youth, which pleases the fancy at first; that must soon
fade; and then comes, too often, coldness between man and wife; neglect,
rudeness, ill-temper, because the grace of life is not there--the grace
of the inner life, of the immortal soul, which alone makes life pleasant,
even tolerable, to two people who are bound together for better or for
worse. But yet, unless St Peter be mistaken, the fault in such sad case
is on the man's side. Yes, we must face that truth, we men; and face it
like men. If we are unhappy in our marriage it is our own fault. It is
the woman who is the weaker, says St Peter, and selfish men are apt to
say, "Then it is the woman's fault, if we are not happy." St Peter says
exactly the opposite. He says,--Because she is the weaker you are the
stronger; and therefore it is your fault if she is not what she should
be; for you are able to help her, and lead her; you took her to your
heart for that very purpose, you swore to cherish her. Because she is
the weaker, you can teach her, help her, improve her character, if you
will.


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