True Born
the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
April 6.--The lieutenant watching for some sign of misfortune to me.
Says that I can't break a mirror twice without ill-luck following it.
Me!
April 9.--Lieut. True Born comes up to me with a face full of conflicting
emotions. "Your ill-luck has come at last," he says with gloomy
satisfaction. "We go under canvas on the 23rd. You are losing me!"
THE SUBSTITUTE
The night watchman had just returned to the office fire after leaving it
to attend a ring at the wharf bell. He sat for some time puffing
fiercely at his pipe and breathing heavily.
"Boys!" he said, at last. "That's the third time this week, and yet if I
was to catch one and skin 'im alive I suppose I should get into trouble
over it. Even 'is own father and mother would make a fuss, most like.
Some people have boys, and other people 'ave the trouble of 'em. Our
street's full of 'em, and the way they carry on would make a monkey-'ouse
ashamed of itself. The man next door to me's got seven of 'em, and when
I spoke to 'im friendly about it over a pint one night, he put the blame
on 'is wife.
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