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Jacobs, W. W., 1863-1943

"Deep Waters, the Entire Collection"


"Wot's that got to do with you?" he ses. "Wot do you mean by walking out
with my wife? That's what I've come to talk about."
For a moment I thought that his bad luck 'ad turned 'is brain. "You've
got it wrong," I ses, as soon as I could speak. "She walked out with
me."
"Cos she thought you was her 'usband," he ses, "but you didn't think you
was me, did you?"
"'Course I didn't," I ses.
"Then 'ow dare you walk out with 'er?" he ses.
"Look 'ere!" I ses. "You get off 'ome as quick as you like. I've 'ad
about enough of your family. Go on, hook it."
Afore I could put my 'ands up he 'it me hard in the mouth, and the next
moment we was at it as 'ard as we could go. Nearly every time I hit 'im
he wasn't there, and every time 'e hit me I wished I hadn't ha' been.
When I said I had 'ad enough, 'e contradicted me and kept on, but he got
tired of it at last, and, arter telling me wot he would do if I ever
walked 'is wife out agin, they went off like a couple o' love-birds.
By the time I got 'ome next morning my eyes was so swelled up I could
'ardly see, and my nose wouldn't let me touch it.


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