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Jacobs, W. W., 1863-1943

"Deep Waters, the Entire Collection"

'Arf the trouble in the world
is caused by letting people know too much."


HUSBANDRY
Dealing with a man, said the night-watchman, thoughtfully, is as easy as
a teetotaller walking along a nice wide pavement; dealing with a woman is
like the same teetotaller, arter four or five whiskies, trying to get up
a step that ain't there. If a man can't get 'is own way he eases 'is
mind with a little nasty language, and then forgets all about it; if a
woman can't get 'er own way she flies into a temper and reminds you of
something you oughtn't to ha' done ten years ago. Wot a woman would do
whose 'usband had never done anything wrong I can't think.
I remember a young feller telling me about a row he 'ad with 'is wife
once. He 'adn't been married long and he talked as if the way she
carried on was unusual. Fust of all, he said, she spoke to 'im in a
cooing sort o' voice and pulled his moustache, then when he wouldn't give
way she worked herself up into a temper and said things about 'is sister.
Arter which she went out o' the room and banged the door so hard it blew
down a vase off the fireplace.


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