A shrewd old Fife hearer of sermons had been
objecting, in the usual exaggerated language, against reading sermons in
the pulpit. A gentleman urged the case of Dr. Chalmers, in defence of
the practice. He used his paper in preaching rigidly, and yet with what
an effect he read! All the objector could reply to this was, "Ah, but
it's _fell_[187] reading yon."
The two following are from a correspondent who heard them told by the
late Dr. Barclay the anatomist, well known for his own dry
Scottish humour.
A country laird, at his death, left his property in equal shares to his
two sons, who continued to live very amicably together for many years.
At length one said to the other, "Tam, we're gettin' auld now, you'll
tak a wife, and when I dee you'll get my share o' the grund." "Na, John,
you're the youngest and maist active, you'll tak a wife, and when I dee
you'll get my share." "Od," says John, "Tam, that's jist the way wi' you
when there's ony _fash or trouble_. The deevil a thing you'll do at a'."
A country clergyman, who was not on the most friendly terms with one of
his heritors who resided in Stirling, and who had annoyed the minister
by delay in paying him his teinds (or tithe), found it necessary to make
the laird understand that his proportion of stipend must be paid so soon
as it became due. The payment came next term punctual to the time. When
the messenger was introduced to the minister, he asked who he was,
remarking that he thought he had seen him before.
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