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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 159, October 6, 1920"

When I was accompanying Mrs. F. to-day she suddenly
stopped fiddling and said hotly that someone had been tampering with her
violin. I know she suspected me. Fortunately, however, I have a very
good answer to this apple-pie bed charge. Eric says that his bed must
have been done after dinner, and I was to be seen at the dance in the
lounge all the evening. I have an alibi.
Besides I had a bed myself; surely they don't believe that even a
professional humourist could be so bursting with humour as to make
himself an apple-pie bed and not make one for his brother-in-law in the
same room! It would be too much like overtime.
But they say that only shows my cleverness....
III.
Then there is the question of the Barkers. Most of the victims were
young people, who could not possibly mind. But the Barkers had two, and
the Barkers are a respected middle-aged couple, and nobody could
possibly make them apple-pie beds who did not know them very well. That
shows you it can't have been me--I--me--that shows you I couldn't have
done it. I have only spoken to them once.
They say Mr. Barker was rather annoyed.


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