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Dickens, Charles, 1812-1870

"Pictures from Italy"


The ladies were particularly ferocious, in their struggles for
places. One lady of my acquaintance was seized round the waist, in
the ladies' box, by a strong matron, and hoisted out of her place;
and there was another lady (in a back row in the same box) who
improved her position by sticking a large pin into the ladies
before her.
The gentlemen about me were remarkably anxious to see what was on
the table; and one Englishman seemed to have embarked the whole
energy of his nature in the determination to discover whether there
was any mustard. 'By Jupiter there's vinegar!' I heard him say to
his friend, after he had stood on tiptoe an immense time, and had
been crushed and beaten on all sides. 'And there's oil! I saw
them distinctly, in cruets! Can any gentleman, in front there, see
mustard on the table? Sir, will you oblige me! DO you see a
Mustard-Pot?'
The apostles and Judas appearing on the platform, after much
expectation, were marshalled, in line, in front of the table, with
Peter at the top; and a good long stare was taken at them by the
company, while twelve of them took a long smell at their nosegays,
and Judas--moving his lips very obtrusively--engaged in inward
prayer.


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