For I have been in my preaching, especially when I have been engaged
in the doctrine of life by Christ without works, as if an angel of
God had stood at my back to encourage me. Oh, it hath been with such
power and heavenly evidence upon my own soul, while I have been
laboring to unfold it, to demonstrate it, and to fasten it upon the
consciences of others, that I could not be contented with saying, I
believe, and am sure. Methought I was more than sure--if it be
lawful thus to express myself--that those things which then I
asserted were true.
If any of those who were awakened by my ministry did after that fall
back--as sometimes too many did--I can truly say, their loss hath
been more to me than if my own children, begotten of my body, had
been going to their grave. I think verily I may speak it without any
offence to the Lord, nothing has gone so near me as that; unless it
was the fear of the loss of the salvation of my own soul. I have
counted as if I had goodly buildings and lordships in those places
where my children were born: my heart hath been so wrapped up in the
glory of this excellent work, that I counted myself more blessed and
honored of God by this, than if he had made me emperor of the
Christian world or the lord of all the glory of the earth without
it.
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