QUESTION. But since I have lusts and desires both ways, how shall I
know to which my soul adheres?
ANSWER. This may be known thus:
1. Which wouldest thou have prevail; the desires of the flesh, or
the lusts of the spirit? Whose side art thou of? Doth thy soul now
inwardly say, and that with a strong indignation, "Oh, let God, let
grace, let my desires that are good, prevail against my flesh, for
Jesus Christ's sake?"
2. What kind of secret wishes hast thou in thy soul, when thou
feelest the lusts of thy flesh to rage? Dost thou not inwardly, and
with indignation against sin, say, "O that I might never, never feel
one such motion more. O that my soul were so full of grace, that
there might be no longer room for even the least lust to come into
my thoughts?"
3. What kind of thoughts hast thou of thyself, now thou seest those
desires of thine that are good so briskly opposed by those that are
bad? Dost thou not say, "Oh, I am the basest of creatures; I could
even spew at myself. There is no man in all the world, in my eyes,
so loathsome as myself is. I abhor myself; a toad is not so vile as
I am. O Lord, let me be any thing but a sinner; any thing, so thou
subduest mine iniquities for me?"
4. How dost thou like the discovery of that which thou thinkest is
grace in other men! Dost thou not cry out, "Oh, I bless them in my
heart! Oh, methinks grace is the greatest beauty in the world! Yea,
I could be content to live and die with those people that have the
grace of God in their souls.
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