But when I had been long vexed with this fear, and was scarce able
to take one step more, these words broke in upon my mind: "Compel
them to come in, that my house may he filled; and yet there is
room." These words, but especially these, "and yet there is room,"
were sweet words to me; for truly I thought that by them I saw there
was place enough in heaven for me, and moreover, that when the Lord
Jesus spake these words, he did then think of me; and that he
knowing that the time would come that I should be afflicted with
fear that there was no place left for me in his bosom, did before
speak this word and leave it upon record, that I might find help
thereby against this vile temptation.
How lovely now in my eyes were all those that I thought to be
converted men and women. They shone, they walked like a people that
carried the broad seal of heaven about them. Oh, I saw the lot was
fallen to them in pleasant places, and they had a goodly heritage.
But that which made me sick, was that of Christ in Mark 3:13, "He
went up into a mountain, and called unto him whom he would; and they
came unto him." This scripture made me faint and fear, yet it
kindled fire in my soul. That which made me fear was this, lest
Christ should have no liking to me; for he called "whom he would.
Pages:
215
216
217
218
219
220
221
222
223
224
225
226
227
228
229
230
231
232
233
234
235
236
237
238
239