But God,
the great, the rich, the infinitely merciful God, did not take this
advantage of my soul to cast me away; but followed me still, arid
won my heart by giving me some understanding, not only of my
miserable state which I was very sensible of, but also that there
might he hopes of mercy; taking away my love to lust, and placing in
the room thereof a holy love to religion. Thus the Lord won my heart
to some desire to hear the word, to grow a stranger to my old
companions, and to accompany the people of God, giving me many sweet
encouragements from several promises in the scriptures. But after
this, the Lord wonderfully set my sins upon my conscience; those
sins especially that I had committed since the first convictions:
temptations also followed me very hard; especially such as tended to
make me question the way of salvation--whether Jesus Christ was the
Saviour or not, and whether I had best to venture my soul upon him
for salvation, or take some other course--and I continued a year and
upwards without any sound evidence as from God to my soul, touching
salvation as it comes by Jesus Christ. But at the last, as I may
say, when the set time was come, the Lord did set me down blessedly
in the truth of the doctrine of Jesus Christ.
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