"
At this the sinner takes some encouragement; yet he can get no more
than that which will hang upon a mere probability, which, by the
next doubt that ariseth in the heart, is blown quite away, and the
soul left again in its first plight, or worse; where he lamentably
bewails his miserable state, and is tormented with a thousand fears
of perishing; for he hears not a word from heaven, perhaps for
several weeks together. Wherefore unbelief begins to get the mastery
of him, and takes off the very edge and spirit, of prayer, and
inclination to hear the word any longer; yea, the devil also claps
in with these thoughts, saying, "All your prayers, and hearing, and
reading, and godly company, which you frequent, will rise up in
judgment against you at last; therefore better it is, if you must be
damned, to choose as easy a place in hell as you can."
The soul at this being quite discouraged, thinks to do as it has
been taught, and with dying thoughts it begins to faint when it goes
to prayer or to hear the word. But behold, when all hope seems to be
quite gone, and the soul concludes, "I die, I perish," in comes on a
sudden the Spirit of God again, with some good word of God which the
soul never thought of before; which word of God commands a calm in
the soul, makes unbelief give place, encourages to hope and wait
upon God again: perhaps it gives some little sight of Christ to the
soul, and of his blessed undertaking for sinners.
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