So much have I felt this, that when I met with
annoyance on account of the same, I tied up my face in a
bandage as long as people would believe in it. O Angel, I
tell you all this not from vanity--you will certainly know
I do not--but only that you may come to me!
If you really cannot come to me, will you let me come to
you? I am, as I say, worried, pressed to do what I will
not do. It cannot be that I shall yield one inch, yet I am
in terror as to what an accident might lead to, and I so
defenceless on account of my first error. I cannot say more
about this--it makes me too miserable. But if I break down
by falling into some fearful snare, my last state will be
worse than my first. O God, I cannot think of it! Let me
come at once, or at once come to me!
I would be content, ay, glad, to live with you as your
servant, if I may not as your wife; so that I could only be
near you, and get glimpses of you, and think of you as mine.
The daylight has nothing to show me, since you are not here,
and I don't like to see the rooks and starlings in the
field, because I grieve and grieve to miss you who used to
see them with me.
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