It was under this roof that the deepest shadow ever thrown
upon his life had stretched its gloom over him. Yet when he had
unlocked the door of the sitting-room and looked into it, the memory
which returned first upon him was that of their happy arrival on a
similar afternoon, the first fresh sense of sharing a habitation
conjointly, the first meal together, the chatting by the fire with
joined hands.
The farmer and his wife were in the field at the moment of his visit,
and Clare was in the rooms alone for some time. Inwardly swollen
with a renewal of sentiment that he had not quite reckoned with, he
went upstairs to her chamber, which had never been his. The bed
was smooth as she had made it with her own hands on the morning of
leaving. The mistletoe hung under the tester just as he had placed
it. Having been there three or four weeks it was turning colour, and
the leaves and berries were wrinkled. Angel took it down and crushed
it into the grate. Standing there, he for the first time doubted
whether his course in this conjecture had been a wise, much less
a generous, one. But had he not been cruelly blinded? In the
incoherent multitude of his emotions he knelt down at the bedside
wet-eyed.
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