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Wilde, Oscar, 1854-1900

"An Ideal Husband"


[Shakes hands with MABEL CHILTERN, takes up his hat and stick, and
goes out, with a parting glare of indignation at LORD GORING.]
MABEL CHILTERN. [Takes up roses and begins to arrange them in a bowl
on the table.] People who don't keep their appointments in the Park
are horrid.
LORD GORING. Detestable.
MABEL CHILTERN. I am glad you admit it. But I wish you wouldn't
look so pleased about it.
LORD GORING. I can't help it. I always look pleased when I am with
you.
MABEL CHILTERN. [Sadly.] Then I suppose it is my duty to remain
with you?
LORD GORING. Of course it is.
MABEL CHILTERN. Well, my duty is a thing I never do, on principle.
It always depresses me. So I am afraid I must leave you.
LORD GORING. Please don't, Miss Mabel. I have something very
particular to say to you.
MABEL CHILTERN. [Rapturously.] Oh! is it a proposal?
LORD GORING. [Somewhat taken aback.] Well, yes, it is - I am bound
to say it is.
MABEL CHILTERN. [With a sigh of pleasure.] I am so glad. That
makes the second to-day.
LORD GORING. [Indignantly.] The second to-day? What conceited ass
has been impertinent enough to dare to propose to you before I had
proposed to you?
MABEL CHILTERN. Tommy Trafford, of course. It is one of Tommy's
days for proposing. He always proposes on Tuesdays and Thursdays,
during the Season.
LORD GORING. You didn't accept him, I hope?
MABEL CHILTERN.


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