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Wilde, Oscar, 1854-1900

"An Ideal Husband"

I feel like the
latest edition of something or other.
[Enter servant.]
JAMES. Sir Robert is still at the Foreign Office, my lord.
LORD GORING. Lady Chiltern not down yet?
JAMES. Her ladyship has not yet left her room. Miss Chiltern has
just come in from riding.
LORD GORING. [To himself.] Ah! that is something.
JAMES. Lord Caversham has been waiting some time in the library for
Sir Robert. I told him your lordship was here.
LORD GORING. Thank you! Would you kindly tell him I've gone?
JAMES. [Bowing.] I shall do so, my lord.
[Exit servant.]
LORD GORING. Really, I don't want to meet my father three days
running. It is a great deal too much excitement for any son. I hope
to goodness he won't come up. Fathers should be neither seen nor
heard. That is the only proper basin for family life. Mothers are
different. Mothers are darlings. [Throws himself down into a chair,
picks up a paper and begins to read it.]
[Enter LORD CAVERSHAM.]
LORD CAVERSHAM. Well, sir, what are you doing here? Wasting your
time as usual, I suppose?
LORD GORING. [Throws down paper and rises.] My dear father, when
one pays a visit it is for the purpose of wasting other people's
time, not one's own.
LORD CAVERSHAM. Have you been thinking over what I spoke to you
about last night?
LORD GORING. I have been thinking about nothing else.
LORD CAVERSHAM.


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