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Wilde, Oscar, 1854-1900

"An Ideal Husband"

They are the same as his lordship uses
himself when he is dressing for dinner.
MRS. CHEVELEY. [With a smile.] Then I am sure they will be
perfectly right.
PHIPPS. [Gravely.] Thank you, madam.
[MRS. CHEVELEY goes into the drawing-room. PHIPPS closes the door
and retires. The door is then slowly opened, and MRS. CHEVELEY comes
out and creeps stealthily towards the writing-table. Suddenly voices
are heard from the smoking-room. MRS. CHEVELEY grows pale, and
stops. The voices grow louder, and she goes back into the drawing-
room, biting her lip.]
[Enter LORD GORING and LORD CAVERSHAM.]
LORD GORING. [Expostulating.] My dear father, if I am to get
married, surely you will allow me to choose the time, place, and
person? Particularly the person.
LORD CAVERSHAM. [Testily.] That is a matter for me, sir. You would
probably make a very poor choice. It is I who should be consulted,
not you. There is property at stake. It is not a matter for
affection. Affection comes later on in married life.
LORD GORING. Yes. In married life affection comes when people
thoroughly dislike each other, father, doesn't it? [Puts on LORD
CAVERSHAM'S cloak for him.]
LORD CAVERSHAM. Certainly, sir. I mean certainly not, air. You are
talking very foolishly to-night. What I say is that marriage is a
matter for common sense.
LORD GORING. But women who have common sense are so curiously plain,
father, aren't they? Of course I only speak from hearsay.


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