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Wilde, Oscar, 1854-1900

"An Ideal Husband"

It has
apparently been crowded out by the County Council, or the Lambeth
Conference, or something equally boring. Could you let me have a
list? I have a particular reason for asking you.
LADY CHILTERN. I am sure Mr. Trafford will be able to give you one.
LORD GORING. Thanks, so much.
MABEL CHILTERN. Tommy is the most useful person in London.
LORD GORING [Turning to her.] And who is the most ornamental?
MABEL CHILTERN [Triumphantly.] I am.
LORD GORING. How clever of you to guess it! [Takes up his hat and
cane.] Good-bye, Lady Chiltern! You will remember what I said to
you, won't you?
LADY CHILTERN. Yes; but I don't know why you said it to me.
LORD GORING. I hardly know myself. Good-bye, Miss Mabel!
MABEL CHILTERN [With a little moue of disappointment.] I wish you
were not going. I have had four wonderful adventures this morning;
four and a half, in fact. You might stop and listen to some of them.
LORD GORING. How very selfish of you to have four and a half! There
won't be any left for me.
MABEL CHILTERN. I don't want you to have any. They would not be
good for you.
LORD GORING. That is the first unkind thing you have ever said to
me. How charmingly you said it! Ten to-morrow.
MABEL CHILTERN. Sharp.
LORD GORING. Quite sharp. But don't bring Mr. Trafford.
MABEL CHILTERN. [With a little toss of the head.] Of course I
shan't bring Tommy Trafford.


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