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Wilde, Oscar, 1854-1900

"An Ideal Husband"

Everything looks
so fresh in the Park now!
MRS. CHEVELEY. Except the people!
LADY MARKBY. Perhaps the people are a little jaded. I have often
observed that the Season as it goes on produces a kind of softening
of the brain. However, I think anything is better than high
intellectual pressure. That is the most unbecoming thing there is.
It makes the noses of the young girls so particularly large. And
there is nothing so difficult to marry as a large nose; men don't
like them. Good-night, dear! [To LADY CHILTERN.] Good-night,
Gertrude! [Goes out on LORD CAVERSHAM'S arm.]
MRS. CHEVELEY. What a charming house you have, Lady Chiltern! I
have spent a delightful evening. It has been so interesting getting
to know your husband.
LADY CHILTERN. Why did you wish to meet my husband, Mrs. Cheveley?
MRS. CHEVELEY. Oh, I will tell you. I wanted to interest him in
this Argentine Canal scheme, of which I dare say you have heard. And
I found him most susceptible, - susceptible to reason, I mean. A
rare thing in a man. I converted him in ten minutes. He is going to
make a speech in the House to-morrow night in favour of the idea. We
must go to the Ladies' Gallery and hear him! It will be a great
occasion!
LADY CHILTERN. There must be some mistake. That scheme could never
have my husband's support.
MRS. CHEVELEY. Oh, I assure you it's all settled.


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